Wednesday, August 12, 2009

starting out in New York

Contrary to appearances, I did not get everything I wanted when I was starting out.

New York, for all its beauty, glamor and luxury, can be deadly for a beginning creative fan.
I started out in this city with only 300 dollars in savings.
And that same 300 dollars went to design - my dream of feeling fashion first hand through a few non-credit courses at FIT.

After that, nothing was left.

Being new in the city, I would go through the typical design districts in SoHo and shop the windows (aka window shopping).

And, as inspiring as they all are, after the initial creative rush, what is left is a small pinch of hurt.
It is this dangerous feeling of feeling sorry for myself.
That, why is it, that being a sincere and authentic fan of brilliant design and all things beautiful, I was born unable to buy it.

As I built my creative empire, unable to buy magazines for inspiration, Barnes & Noble became my library.
I would browse through books and magazines religiously - as if in a Sunday mass.

Such is my love hate relationship with beautiful things.

Sometimes, when life is sour and when a dream is temporarily defeated,
I would go to a clothing store and just go in to see what is new.
It is through the work of other brilliant designers that allowed me to still be here.
To be at this point - talking to you.

When everything was sour, the other half of this love hate relationship sustained me.

There is something about the vision of something beautiful that awakens and reminds us of our beauty.

That no matter how ugly life can be, the dream and the hope to be and experience the best of who we can be is, all of a sudden, in front of us.

Kristian Cruz

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