Thursday, April 5, 2007

is it integrity?

so, i had a big fight with my best friend last night.
the thing with very good friends is that both tend to be very comfortable with who they really are.
no more need to use the polite and rehearsed personas we use in everyday life.

i have a big pet peeve with people.
i hate repeating myself.
because my logical brain does and explains things so methodically, think in bullet form on Microsoft Word, severely itemized like a Thesis Outline.
simply put, i say it in Step 1, Sub a), Sub b) , etc.

so my friend did not get it.
so i had to explain it again.
seriously, it was not that hard.
just two forms.
one to be signed by you.
one to be signed by the lawyer.

he still did not get it.
so i repeated it for the Third Time.
i asked if he got it this time.
he said Yes.

10 seconds after,
he asked how many forms again were we talking about.

that is when i blew up.

i find it extremely rude when people do not listen intently.
not only that, this repetition has happened before.
and a fight always follows that.

so, in the past,
i set a fair Ultimatum.
because i won't change.
because he won't change.
then we either:
1) find a compromise to make the friendship work.
2) we give it up completely.

he violated the compromise on his part.

so i asked him again.
i said:
i cannot do this.
and fight with you.
and get upset.
and be angry every time we talk.

so, i posed the question again:
while it is unfair to ask people to change,
i said that it is better to dissolve this friendship because it causes me anger and negativity.
that it is better if he gets out.
i will miss the good times and the good that our friendship is equally capable of.
but this repetition is extremely rude to me.

so the question was: how important is this friendship to you?
if it is, he must try harder and is only allowed two repetitions. that's it.
if he cannot do it, then next time, it is over.

sounds harsh, i know.
but my life is too important to waste on being angry.
and i do not expect to get along with everyone.

as a good quote once said:
those who do not mind, matter.
those who mind, do not really matter.

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