Thursday, December 31, 2009

jack kerouac

"Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. While some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do." -- Jack Kerouac.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

the darkness...

The darkness of our world awaits you -- not to engulfyou, but to be transformed by you. During this Season of the Light, be its Source for all those who search for Joy. (Neale Donald Walsch)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009


"There is something to be learned from a rainstorm. When meeting with a sudden shower, you try not to get wet and run quickly along the road. By doing such things as passing under the eaves of houses, you still get wet. When you are resolved from the beginning, you will not get perplexed, though you will still get the ...same soaking. This understanding extends to all things."

HAGAKURE: The Book of the Samurai by Tsunetomo Yamamoto

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

what is Salvation?

Understanding Salvation: We are seeking here to save ourselves from our own misunderstandings about Life and Who We Really Are. Move into your True Identity, and watch your whole life change. (Neale Donald Walsch)

Thursday, October 1, 2009

my selected quote for 2010

"I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge -
That myth is more potent than history. I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts; that hope always triumphs over experience; that laughter is the only cure for grief; and I believe that love is stronger than death." - Robert Fulgum

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


"Here at the frontier, there are falling leaves.
Although my neighbors are all barbarians,
and you, you are a thousand miles away,
there are always two cups on my table."

- Anonymous, Tang Dynasty

Monday, September 14, 2009

show, Millennium

there was once this show called Millennium, from the creator of the X-files.

last Saturday, i spent the whole morning watching re-runs. i was torn between staying to watch and needing to leave - to check out a possible fashion shoot location for my upcoming collection.

i decided to stay.

around 3pm, i caught an episode about a boy who went missing in the Alaskan forests. in the end, he left a journal for his parents.

parts of it read: Do what charms you. Find that one thing that makes you say to yourself, "Yes, this is the real me."

shortly after that, i traveled that one hour train ride to check out the location.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

i love Neil Gaiman

Remember your name. Do not lose hope ? what you seek will be found. Trust ghosts. Trust those that you have helped to help you in their turn. Trust dreams. Trust your heart, and trust your story. When you come back, return the way you came. Favors w...ill be returned, debts will be repaid. Do not forget your manners. Do not look back.

- borrowed from Neil Gaiman's poem, Instructions

Friday, August 21, 2009

nice forwarded email

Regina Brett's 45 life lessons and 5 to grow on
by Regina Brett
Sunday May 28, 2006, 10:13 AM
To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me.
It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 50 this week, so here's an update:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Monday, August 17, 2009

i think lyrics from the film, Mulan?

Now I see,that if I were truly to be myself,
I would break my family's heart....
Now I see if I wear a mask, I can fool the world.
But I cannot fool my heart.
Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show, who I am inside?

Thursday, August 13, 2009

quote from Tommy Hilfiger

Fashion is temporary. Style is forever.

- Tommy Hilfiger, CNBC Interview 2/9/2007

Wednesday, August 12, 2009


"When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be". (Author unknown)

10 things i will miss when i die...

1. marc
2. me being there for my family
3. the great movies that i will not see
4. the smell of freshly made toast
5. a sad but moving song
6. a good joke
7. the things i can yet do and become and be better at
8. the feeling of falling in love unexpectedly
9. those peak moments in life when things make sense and you do not
know why
10. you and my future potential friends


my idol, Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and Pixar Animation Studios, delivered a truly inspirational commencement address to some 5,000 Stanford University graduates. Without further adieu, his message:

"I am honored to be with you today at your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. I never graduated from college. Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The First Story is About Connecting the Dots.

I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife.

Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: 'We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?' They said: 'Of course.' My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents' savings were being spent on my college tuition.

After six months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn't interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5? deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed.

Because I had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can't capture, and I found it fascinating.

None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it's likely that no personal computer would have them.

If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something--your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.

My Second Story is About Love and Loss.

I was lucky--I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents' garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation--the Macintosh--a year earlier, and I had just turned 30.

And then I got fired.

How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating.

I really didn't know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down--that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me.

I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me--I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over.

Fired From Apple

I didn't see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.

During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the world's first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together.

I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn't been fired from Apple. It was awful-tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it.

Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You've got to find what you love. And that is as true for your work as it is for your lovers.

Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven't found it yet, keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of the heart, you'll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking until you find it. Don't settle.

My Third Story is About Death.

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: 'If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right.'

It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: 'If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?' And whenever the answer has been 'No' for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything--all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure--these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

Diagnosed With Cancer

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer.

I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months.

My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery.

I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it.

And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma--which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch.

This was in the late 1960s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and Polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue.

It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: 'Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.' It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much."

The Stanford (University) Report June 14, 2005

starting out in New York

Contrary to appearances, I did not get everything I wanted when I was starting out.

New York, for all its beauty, glamor and luxury, can be deadly for a beginning creative fan.
I started out in this city with only 300 dollars in savings.
And that same 300 dollars went to design - my dream of feeling fashion first hand through a few non-credit courses at FIT.

After that, nothing was left.

Being new in the city, I would go through the typical design districts in SoHo and shop the windows (aka window shopping).

And, as inspiring as they all are, after the initial creative rush, what is left is a small pinch of hurt.
It is this dangerous feeling of feeling sorry for myself.
That, why is it, that being a sincere and authentic fan of brilliant design and all things beautiful, I was born unable to buy it.

As I built my creative empire, unable to buy magazines for inspiration, Barnes & Noble became my library.
I would browse through books and magazines religiously - as if in a Sunday mass.

Such is my love hate relationship with beautiful things.

Sometimes, when life is sour and when a dream is temporarily defeated,
I would go to a clothing store and just go in to see what is new.
It is through the work of other brilliant designers that allowed me to still be here.
To be at this point - talking to you.

When everything was sour, the other half of this love hate relationship sustained me.

There is something about the vision of something beautiful that awakens and reminds us of our beauty.

That no matter how ugly life can be, the dream and the hope to be and experience the best of who we can be is, all of a sudden, in front of us.

Kristian Cruz

why do we try try again in love?

You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.
- quote, Jonathan Safron Foer

i made it, after all.

i haven't been existential for the longest time but lately, not only was i evaluating my worth, i was also probably depressed.

i trace it back to two things:
1) my grandmother's death two months ago made me aware of life's short lifespan
2) my upcoming birthday

yes, a friend of mine argued that i accomplished much for my age. but money-wise, not yet, at least in New York terms.

i am no longer starting from scratch but it could be better and wealthier.

she said i needed to be have fun again in New York. to see it again as if i just arrived.

that night, she made sense and that offered me some comfort.

clearly, after over-eating a week after that, i knew i was not completely fine with the conclusion.

and so, from out of nowhere, from the second floor of a McDonald's, there i was looking at the street from the window near my table, it hit me...

"i made it."

i work in a Fortune 500 company, even though i am still low in the ladder but at least i was able to penetrate it. i started my own company when i was young. i wear nice clothes and paid for them in cash. i am free to live in this country legally. i am in New York, one of the most dynamic cities in the world.

i did make it, after everything that happened.

now, i need a month to celebrate. before i move on yet again and then five years from now, whine about what i've accomplished since then.

Friday, July 17, 2009

to a dark moses (a poem)

You are the one
I am lit for.

Come with your rod
that twists
and is a serpent.

I am the bush.
I am burning
I am not consumed.

- Lucille Clifton (1974)

Monday, February 2, 2009

about love...

My life only has meaning in proportion to the love I allow in my heart.

- from Deepak Chopra

Monday, January 5, 2009

why fashion needs eccentrics

(an excerpt from JJ Martin's article inside the June 2007 issue of Harper's Bazaar)

In today's cookie-cutter, keeping-up-with-the-celebrities world, the future of fashion is in the hands of the designers who dare to dream outside the box and the women brave enough to wear their designs as only they see fit.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

science of getting rich

from the same titled book of Wallace Wattles:

To permit your mind to dwell upon the inferior is to become inferior and to surround yourself with inferior things. On the other hand, to fix your attention on the best is to surround yourself with the best, and to become the best.