a letter to a good friend

below is an email to my best friend, francis:

dearest francis,

i wish to invent a quote:
We can only be human among true friends.
To the rest of the world, we appear courageous.

let me take this rare opportunity to be one... human.

i just finished making the samples of my first menswear collection.
and i am honestly shaking and scared.

it did not help that, today, i read a book called:
The Fashion Designer Survival Guide.

i was not the same after reading it.
as soon as i emerged from the library, i experienced this lingering fear that things may not be easy after all.

that fashion is really about money and having the capital to do it.
i have neither of the above.

i think i am having a panic attack.
my brain is bombarded by random thoughts.
as varied as they may be, they all stem from the fear that this may ultimately fail.

i am not sure if you have across this piece of wisdom yet.
but i read somewhere that each one of us is burdened by a Singular Dysfunction.
that when we reincarnated, there is this Most Important Lesson about Life or Falsehood that we must battle.

i think mine is INTEGRITY.
it is being true to the voice.
it is being absolutely unapologetically true to myself.

as scared as i am of this,
i decided to push through with it.

as a creative visionary, i silently believe that i am an ORIGINAL.
that i am at the forefront of something new and untested.

as i am writing this email, i know that i must have faith.
and, actually play a different set of rules to sell my collection.

i will have to create a new business model to distribute it and sell it to consumers.
i have ideas on how to go about it.
they are simply too radical.

the next time i talk to you about this will probably be next year when all the final samples are ready.
and on models.
and on photos and styled photo shoots.

i guess i am feeling this fear because i am actually playing in the battlefield.
and moved way beyond the talking and thinking and pondering whether to do it or not.
i did it already.
i started.
and this is how athletes who are in the game must feel.
a feeling that spectators of a sport never fully understand.
because they are simply witnesses.

francis,
now that i am touching my Greater Destiny,
i am shaking.

but i will move head on.

how is your journey so far, my friend?