an excerpt from the book,
Teaching of Don Juan by Carlos Castaneda:
Anything is one of a million paths. Therefore you must always keep in mind that a path is only a path; if you feel you should not follow it, you must not stay with it under any conditions. To have such clarity you must lead a disciplined life. Only then will you know that any path is only a path and there is no affront, to oneself or to others, in dropping it if that is what your heart tells you to do. But your decision to keep on the path or to leave it must be free of fear or ambition. I warn you. Look at every path closely and deliberately. Try it as many times as you think necessary.
This question is one that only a very old man asks. Does this path have a heart? All paths are the same: they lead nowhere. They are paths going through the bush, or into the bush. In my own life I could say I have traversed long long paths, but I am not anywhere. Does this path have a heart? If it does, the path is good; if it doesn't, it is of no use. Both paths lead nowhere; but one has a heart, the other doesn't. One makes for a joyful journey; as long as you follow it, you are one with it. The other will make you curse your life. One makes you strong; the other weakens you.
Before you embark on any path ask the question: Does this path have a heart? If the answer is no, you will know it, and then you must choose another path. The trouble is nobody asks the question; and when a man finally realizes that he has taken a path without a heart, the path is ready to kill him. At that point very few men can stop to deliberate, and leave the path. A path without a heart is never enjoyable. You have to work hard even to take it. On the other hand, a path with heart is easy; it does not make you work at liking it.
I have told you that to choose a path you must be free from fear and ambition. The desire to learn is not ambition. It is our lot as men to want to know.
The path without a heart will turn against men and destroy them. It does not take much to die, and to seek death is to seek nothing.
For me there is only the traveling on the paths that have a heart, on any path that may have a heart. There I travel, and the only worthwhile challenge for me is to traverse its full length. And there I travel--looking, looking, breathlessly.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
risk
RISK
To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams, before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing dies nothing, has nothing and is nothing.
They say they avoid suffering and sorrow,
But they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live...
Chained by their attitudes, they are slaves.
They have forfeited their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.
-- Anonymous
To laugh is to risk appearing the fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk exposing your true self.
To place your ideas, your dreams, before a crowd is to risk their loss.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To live is to risk dying.
To hope is to risk despair.
To try is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken, because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing dies nothing, has nothing and is nothing.
They say they avoid suffering and sorrow,
But they cannot learn, feel, change, grow, love, live...
Chained by their attitudes, they are slaves.
They have forfeited their freedom.
Only a person who risks is free.
-- Anonymous
Sunday, August 12, 2007
who is the next design star?
the title of this blog is the title of the reality show on HGTV.
it is like the American Idol for interior designers.
yesterday, i was extremely depressed and discouraged from pursuing fashion.
this was after reading a book called The Fashion Designer Survival Guide.
what i got from the book was the illusion that fashion is all about having the capital to pursue it.
while that was extremely valid, i never really used lack of money as an excuse in my past endeavors in life.
but somehow it did this time.
tonight, i saw a timely episode of this interior designer challenge.
the remaining contestants were each given 399 dollars to shop at a 99 cent store.
with only 2 days to transform a small white room, with a white table.
a blank canvas, if you will.
Tod, a relatively decent hunk in a non-hunk carpenter way, did a room that just shocked me out of my creative block and depression.
on the white wall, he painted a huge blue tidal wave that 'literally' smashed and drowned the furniture in the room.
it was completely unsafe and out of the box.
one that could have eliminated him for the impracticality of someone being able to live in that room in real life.
in the last minutes of the challenge, he was interviewed.
he said he did not want to play it safe.
what i liked about him was his complete confidence with the danger.
it was as if the risk was completely not taken into consideration.
he simply just wanted to be creative.
and he ultimately won the challenge.
here is the link to the actual site:
http://www.hgtv.com/hgtv/design_star/
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Wes Anderson
Wes Anderson, the filmmaker, represents another side of me.
my natural tendency to be philosophical and cool at the same time.
i like how he packages wisdom in a witty amusing way.
i do that also.
package spiritual truth in easy morsels coated with humor.
that is why i cannot wait to see his new film come September, The Darjeeling Limited.
set in India.
loaded with spiritual truth.
package as a independent comedy.
just like me.
his films did very well commercially.
he was true to his Creative Voice.
and he inspires me to do the same.
his concepts, i am sure, would not have passed the approving standards of mainstream Hollywood.
but he stuck to his guts.
and created a successful audience loyal to him.
just recently, i had a panic attack regarding my first menswear collection.
that no one will buy it.
or i have no way of financing its production or distribution.
on an episode on Charlie Rose, Wes Anderson was asked:
what type of audience watches your film?
Wes replied:
Outsiders.
the true creative types will respond to my Creation and Creativity.
come to think of it, i just need to have faith.
that people, in general, not just an elect elitist few, respond to someone who is True and expresses a Truth.
people smell fakeness.
people miss those who are sincere and authentic.
this is what i am now banking on.
the most celebrated and influential works were also the most original.
and i choose to be original.
my natural tendency to be philosophical and cool at the same time.
i like how he packages wisdom in a witty amusing way.
i do that also.
package spiritual truth in easy morsels coated with humor.
that is why i cannot wait to see his new film come September, The Darjeeling Limited.
set in India.
loaded with spiritual truth.
package as a independent comedy.
just like me.
his films did very well commercially.
he was true to his Creative Voice.
and he inspires me to do the same.
his concepts, i am sure, would not have passed the approving standards of mainstream Hollywood.
but he stuck to his guts.
and created a successful audience loyal to him.
just recently, i had a panic attack regarding my first menswear collection.
that no one will buy it.
or i have no way of financing its production or distribution.
on an episode on Charlie Rose, Wes Anderson was asked:
what type of audience watches your film?
Wes replied:
Outsiders.
the true creative types will respond to my Creation and Creativity.
come to think of it, i just need to have faith.
that people, in general, not just an elect elitist few, respond to someone who is True and expresses a Truth.
people smell fakeness.
people miss those who are sincere and authentic.
this is what i am now banking on.
the most celebrated and influential works were also the most original.
and i choose to be original.
a letter to a good friend
below is an email to my best friend, francis:
dearest francis,
i wish to invent a quote:
We can only be human among true friends.
To the rest of the world, we appear courageous.
let me take this rare opportunity to be one... human.
i just finished making the samples of my first menswear collection.
and i am honestly shaking and scared.
it did not help that, today, i read a book called:
The Fashion Designer Survival Guide.
i was not the same after reading it.
as soon as i emerged from the library, i experienced this lingering fear that things may not be easy after all.
that fashion is really about money and having the capital to do it.
i have neither of the above.
i think i am having a panic attack.
my brain is bombarded by random thoughts.
as varied as they may be, they all stem from the fear that this may ultimately fail.
i am not sure if you have across this piece of wisdom yet.
but i read somewhere that each one of us is burdened by a Singular Dysfunction.
that when we reincarnated, there is this Most Important Lesson about Life or Falsehood that we must battle.
i think mine is INTEGRITY.
it is being true to the voice.
it is being absolutely unapologetically true to myself.
as scared as i am of this,
i decided to push through with it.
as a creative visionary, i silently believe that i am an ORIGINAL.
that i am at the forefront of something new and untested.
as i am writing this email, i know that i must have faith.
and, actually play a different set of rules to sell my collection.
i will have to create a new business model to distribute it and sell it to consumers.
i have ideas on how to go about it.
they are simply too radical.
the next time i talk to you about this will probably be next year when all the final samples are ready.
and on models.
and on photos and styled photo shoots.
i guess i am feeling this fear because i am actually playing in the battlefield.
and moved way beyond the talking and thinking and pondering whether to do it or not.
i did it already.
i started.
and this is how athletes who are in the game must feel.
a feeling that spectators of a sport never fully understand.
because they are simply witnesses.
francis,
now that i am touching my Greater Destiny,
i am shaking.
but i will move head on.
how is your journey so far, my friend?
dearest francis,
i wish to invent a quote:
We can only be human among true friends.
To the rest of the world, we appear courageous.
let me take this rare opportunity to be one... human.
i just finished making the samples of my first menswear collection.
and i am honestly shaking and scared.
it did not help that, today, i read a book called:
The Fashion Designer Survival Guide.
i was not the same after reading it.
as soon as i emerged from the library, i experienced this lingering fear that things may not be easy after all.
that fashion is really about money and having the capital to do it.
i have neither of the above.
i think i am having a panic attack.
my brain is bombarded by random thoughts.
as varied as they may be, they all stem from the fear that this may ultimately fail.
i am not sure if you have across this piece of wisdom yet.
but i read somewhere that each one of us is burdened by a Singular Dysfunction.
that when we reincarnated, there is this Most Important Lesson about Life or Falsehood that we must battle.
i think mine is INTEGRITY.
it is being true to the voice.
it is being absolutely unapologetically true to myself.
as scared as i am of this,
i decided to push through with it.
as a creative visionary, i silently believe that i am an ORIGINAL.
that i am at the forefront of something new and untested.
as i am writing this email, i know that i must have faith.
and, actually play a different set of rules to sell my collection.
i will have to create a new business model to distribute it and sell it to consumers.
i have ideas on how to go about it.
they are simply too radical.
the next time i talk to you about this will probably be next year when all the final samples are ready.
and on models.
and on photos and styled photo shoots.
i guess i am feeling this fear because i am actually playing in the battlefield.
and moved way beyond the talking and thinking and pondering whether to do it or not.
i did it already.
i started.
and this is how athletes who are in the game must feel.
a feeling that spectators of a sport never fully understand.
because they are simply witnesses.
francis,
now that i am touching my Greater Destiny,
i am shaking.
but i will move head on.
how is your journey so far, my friend?
Sunday, August 5, 2007
think small NOT big
i know, when you first saw the title of this post, it probably turned you off.
any reasonably self-aware individual knows that thinking big in life is the way to achieve Dreams.
true.
but thinking small is the key to thinking big.
Thinking Big means being open to your highest potential and highest goals for yourself.
Thinking Small is the process to fulfill those Big Dreams.
to explain:
it means a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
start somewhere.
make that small move.
start from point 1.
followed by 2.
then the next.
pretty soon, one thousand small steps will lead you to the finishing line.
this was huge for me.
i always think of life from a big perspective.
while that part is good, the accompanying tendency to get anxious about how to get there, was bad for my sanity.
so when Wayne Dreyer (a self-help inspirational speaker) was featured on an PBS episode and started talking about the Tao Te-Ching, i knew i had to listen.
he was giving a talk about his new book...
i think the title of his book was Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life.
so today, i finally ended my mental block and my procrastination.
i finished the first draft of my first ever menswear collection.
not just sketches.
but the actual physical samples.
and they look promising.
any reasonably self-aware individual knows that thinking big in life is the way to achieve Dreams.
true.
but thinking small is the key to thinking big.
Thinking Big means being open to your highest potential and highest goals for yourself.
Thinking Small is the process to fulfill those Big Dreams.
to explain:
it means a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
start somewhere.
make that small move.
start from point 1.
followed by 2.
then the next.
pretty soon, one thousand small steps will lead you to the finishing line.
this was huge for me.
i always think of life from a big perspective.
while that part is good, the accompanying tendency to get anxious about how to get there, was bad for my sanity.
so when Wayne Dreyer (a self-help inspirational speaker) was featured on an PBS episode and started talking about the Tao Te-Ching, i knew i had to listen.
he was giving a talk about his new book...
i think the title of his book was Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life.
so today, i finally ended my mental block and my procrastination.
i finished the first draft of my first ever menswear collection.
not just sketches.
but the actual physical samples.
and they look promising.
Sunday, July 29, 2007
A.I.
i just saw the film, A.I., two days in a row on television.
and the last parts still had the same emotional impact on me.
i seem to gravitate to films with emotional and profound messages about love and existence.
and this film has both.
there were some parts that i still did not comprehend.
so i did a search on Wikipedia to figure out the plot.
following is my favorite part on that Wikipedia mention:
In a review for The New York Times by A. O. Scott, A.I is described as the "best fairy tale — the most disturbing, complex and intellectually challenging boy's adventure story — Mr. Spielberg has made." He comments on the film's ending:
... For the second time the movie swerves away from where it seemed to be going, and Mr. Spielberg, with breathtaking poise and heroic conviction, risks absurdity in the pursuit of sublimity. The very end somehow fuses the cathartic comfort of infantile wish fulfillment — the dream that the first perfect love whose loss we experience as the fall from Eden might be restored — with a feeling almost too terrible to acknowledge or to name. Refusing to cuddle us or lull us into easy sleep, Mr. Spielberg locates the unspoken moral of all our fairy tales. To be real is to be mortal; to be human is to love, to dream and to perish.
source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artificial_Intelligence:_A.I.
and the last parts still had the same emotional impact on me.
i seem to gravitate to films with emotional and profound messages about love and existence.
and this film has both.
there were some parts that i still did not comprehend.
so i did a search on Wikipedia to figure out the plot.
following is my favorite part on that Wikipedia mention:
In a review for The New York Times by A. O. Scott, A.I is described as the "best fairy tale — the most disturbing, complex and intellectually challenging boy's adventure story — Mr. Spielberg has made." He comments on the film's ending:
... For the second time the movie swerves away from where it seemed to be going, and Mr. Spielberg, with breathtaking poise and heroic conviction, risks absurdity in the pursuit of sublimity. The very end somehow fuses the cathartic comfort of infantile wish fulfillment — the dream that the first perfect love whose loss we experience as the fall from Eden might be restored — with a feeling almost too terrible to acknowledge or to name. Refusing to cuddle us or lull us into easy sleep, Mr. Spielberg locates the unspoken moral of all our fairy tales. To be real is to be mortal; to be human is to love, to dream and to perish.
source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artificial_Intelligence:_A.I.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
my Testimonials on Friendster
i like the Testimonials aspect of Friendster.
it is a space where people share how they feel and what they really think about you.
these are things they do not normally say.
below are my favorite ones...
from Carlo, my younger brother:
Carlo Inigo
Posted 03/03/2007 06:32 AM
My brother, Kuya Kris. He doesn't want to be called a genius but I do call him that behind his back. I even tell my friends that his intellect is beyond us mortals. That is to say that I'm so proud of him and being his sibling that I brag about him to others.
These are not empty praises. He really thinks differently and has motivated me everytime I speak to him. I have run to him during the few crossroads in my life and has provided the only advice amongst many that I have followed.
I admire and envy his accomplishments , making me strive harder in my own tribulations.
from my ex-co worker Jon:
Jon
Posted 09/07/2004 08:12 AM
All day long, Kristian sits behind me, his calm, pleasant voice wooing customers and calming angry callers. I am so pleased that my own clothing choice has made a blip, albeit minor, in his ever-active radar of cutting edge fashion critique and design. Some day, when Galliano and Dior are only shadows of the House of Kristian Cruz, I'll say I knew him when... For now, I'll be pleased to work with such a charming, upbeat, introspective lad with mainly impeccable movie taste. His interest in culture and art serves as an inspiration to me, as we commisurate over our continued quest for knowledge and creativity.
from my ex-boss, Francis:
Francis xavier
Posted 07/22/2004 8:56 PM
I had always believed that Kristian is destined for greater things. Just look into his eyes and you will see the passion of doing the impossible. I will surely miss our talks over mango shake, pita bread and shawarma-- about life, about our dreams, or even about "Klasmeyts." I surely hope to see his fashion empire in the future. He has always regarded me as his "guru" but I also learned a lot from him. He is a complete person, sharing his completeness with the universe. I know the whole universe will conspire to make your lofty dreams a reality. God bless.
from a former classmate at French 2 class:
Theodore
Posted 07/04/2004 12:50 AM
Grabe, bow ako sa creativity ng taong to! A true artist! Di ko pa rin makakalimutan ang pinagawa nya sa grupo namin sa French class nung college. Pina-avant garde fashion show ba naman kami wearing self-designed apparel made of black trash bags! :) Hanggang ngayon, sabi ni Mademoiselle Ventanilla, pinaka-da best pa rin yung group presentation naming yun. Pero me kajologan din tong si Tian eh. Hehehe. Spice Girls fan to dati. Peace! :D
in 5 days, i shall delete my whole Friendster profile.
may i never forget how important I am and how important i was to people.
it is a space where people share how they feel and what they really think about you.
these are things they do not normally say.
below are my favorite ones...
from Carlo, my younger brother:
Carlo Inigo
Posted 03/03/2007 06:32 AM
My brother, Kuya Kris. He doesn't want to be called a genius but I do call him that behind his back. I even tell my friends that his intellect is beyond us mortals. That is to say that I'm so proud of him and being his sibling that I brag about him to others.
These are not empty praises. He really thinks differently and has motivated me everytime I speak to him. I have run to him during the few crossroads in my life and has provided the only advice amongst many that I have followed.
I admire and envy his accomplishments , making me strive harder in my own tribulations.
from my ex-co worker Jon:
Jon
Posted 09/07/2004 08:12 AM
All day long, Kristian sits behind me, his calm, pleasant voice wooing customers and calming angry callers. I am so pleased that my own clothing choice has made a blip, albeit minor, in his ever-active radar of cutting edge fashion critique and design. Some day, when Galliano and Dior are only shadows of the House of Kristian Cruz, I'll say I knew him when... For now, I'll be pleased to work with such a charming, upbeat, introspective lad with mainly impeccable movie taste. His interest in culture and art serves as an inspiration to me, as we commisurate over our continued quest for knowledge and creativity.
from my ex-boss, Francis:
Francis xavier
Posted 07/22/2004 8:56 PM
I had always believed that Kristian is destined for greater things. Just look into his eyes and you will see the passion of doing the impossible. I will surely miss our talks over mango shake, pita bread and shawarma-- about life, about our dreams, or even about "Klasmeyts." I surely hope to see his fashion empire in the future. He has always regarded me as his "guru" but I also learned a lot from him. He is a complete person, sharing his completeness with the universe. I know the whole universe will conspire to make your lofty dreams a reality. God bless.
from a former classmate at French 2 class:
Theodore
Posted 07/04/2004 12:50 AM
Grabe, bow ako sa creativity ng taong to! A true artist! Di ko pa rin makakalimutan ang pinagawa nya sa grupo namin sa French class nung college. Pina-avant garde fashion show ba naman kami wearing self-designed apparel made of black trash bags! :) Hanggang ngayon, sabi ni Mademoiselle Ventanilla, pinaka-da best pa rin yung group presentation naming yun. Pero me kajologan din tong si Tian eh. Hehehe. Spice Girls fan to dati. Peace! :D
in 5 days, i shall delete my whole Friendster profile.
may i never forget how important I am and how important i was to people.
my Friendster profile
i made an announcement.
i am deleting my Friendster account.
below is a copy of my profile:
i was reluctant to join Friendster for fear that i'm too much of an introvert.
most of my friends are here though which is incentive enough to give it a try.
i exude an air of extreme arrogance, yet in reality modest in most aspects. with a seeming air of aloofness, though sociable and charismatic when the trust is established. extremely serious but crazy enough to be called the life of the party. known to ponder on life's meaning too intensely but really grounded enough to enjoy a brainless TV show.
being authentic is extremely important to me. more than being liked by people. but, i believe authenticity must be balanced with kindness.
to sum it up, i am true to myself and try to be kind to other people. the other details will have to be supplied by what others will write about me :)
as a shortcut, you can watch the film, Garden State, and think of the lead guy as an extremely accurate portrayal of my character tone.
Who I Want to Meet:
i'd love to meet entrepreneurs and creative visionaries here. i have great admiration for people who want to start their own business or those with enough vision to change the world for the better.
and... the Dalai Lama. wisdom will always be the new black.
with the recent addition of: Oliver Heath (creative genius !!!)
i am deleting my Friendster account.
below is a copy of my profile:
i was reluctant to join Friendster for fear that i'm too much of an introvert.
most of my friends are here though which is incentive enough to give it a try.
i exude an air of extreme arrogance, yet in reality modest in most aspects. with a seeming air of aloofness, though sociable and charismatic when the trust is established. extremely serious but crazy enough to be called the life of the party. known to ponder on life's meaning too intensely but really grounded enough to enjoy a brainless TV show.
being authentic is extremely important to me. more than being liked by people. but, i believe authenticity must be balanced with kindness.
to sum it up, i am true to myself and try to be kind to other people. the other details will have to be supplied by what others will write about me :)
as a shortcut, you can watch the film, Garden State, and think of the lead guy as an extremely accurate portrayal of my character tone.
Who I Want to Meet:
i'd love to meet entrepreneurs and creative visionaries here. i have great admiration for people who want to start their own business or those with enough vision to change the world for the better.
and... the Dalai Lama. wisdom will always be the new black.
with the recent addition of: Oliver Heath (creative genius !!!)
Saturday, July 21, 2007
it's my fault
the break-up was my fault.
this was my painful but much needed epiphany after casually browsing the book,
The Life You Were Born to Live.
it said, upon analysis of my Life Number,
i expect betrayal in life.
and because i secretly expect it, it ends up happening me.
the guy i loved dumped me without me knowing it.
and was having another relationship, again, without me knowing it.
the reason he gave me:
because i was always elusive.
it is painfully true.
while we can argue that he was an asshole,
i think it is an easy cop out by putting all the blame on him.
any self-aware individual knows that we are responsible in creating our circumstances, either on a conscious or unconscious level.
according to the book,
i expect betrayal because i secretly distrust the universe.
and, this is of course rooted within, a secret distrust of my self.
and because of this distrust, i withdrew from him.
afraid of exposing my shadow self, the things i did not trust and like about myself.
i should have trusted him with more of myself.
but, it was too late.
the break-up did open my eyes to a greater truth.
but it came at the expense of that relationship.
although i seriously doubt that it was relationship in the first place.
it was my fault.
so now, the next stage of healing can finally begin.
this was my painful but much needed epiphany after casually browsing the book,
The Life You Were Born to Live.
it said, upon analysis of my Life Number,
i expect betrayal in life.
and because i secretly expect it, it ends up happening me.
the guy i loved dumped me without me knowing it.
and was having another relationship, again, without me knowing it.
the reason he gave me:
because i was always elusive.
it is painfully true.
while we can argue that he was an asshole,
i think it is an easy cop out by putting all the blame on him.
any self-aware individual knows that we are responsible in creating our circumstances, either on a conscious or unconscious level.
according to the book,
i expect betrayal because i secretly distrust the universe.
and, this is of course rooted within, a secret distrust of my self.
and because of this distrust, i withdrew from him.
afraid of exposing my shadow self, the things i did not trust and like about myself.
i should have trusted him with more of myself.
but, it was too late.
the break-up did open my eyes to a greater truth.
but it came at the expense of that relationship.
although i seriously doubt that it was relationship in the first place.
it was my fault.
so now, the next stage of healing can finally begin.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
the Bag
today, my Dream was attacked.
or, at least i perceived it as an attack.
a senior co-worker of mine joked, for the third time, why i had such a big everyday work bag.
it was a fashionable bag.
but maybe not so common for men.
the fashion editors at In Style magazine loved it.
i guess the straight men do not.
everyone was at the elevator.
and i walked in.
and that was the first thing he joked about.
i defended it, of course.
in a detached manner at first.
then, with humor.
now, i regret not attacking more.
because, he attacked my dream.
and no one has the right to do that.
or, at least i perceived it as an attack.
a senior co-worker of mine joked, for the third time, why i had such a big everyday work bag.
it was a fashionable bag.
but maybe not so common for men.
the fashion editors at In Style magazine loved it.
i guess the straight men do not.
everyone was at the elevator.
and i walked in.
and that was the first thing he joked about.
i defended it, of course.
in a detached manner at first.
then, with humor.
now, i regret not attacking more.
because, he attacked my dream.
and no one has the right to do that.
Friday, June 29, 2007
lessons for the next
my friend Cherrie's first child, Jade, just turned one.
and she had a great concept for a gift.
her closest friends (and me being a godfather) would fill up a Life Questionnaire for baby Jade to read when he grows up.
here are my answers:
The three most important things you should remember in life are:
1) you are responsible for and literally capable of creating and shaping your reality beginning with the power of your thought
2) do what you love and money will follow
3) your life will either expand or contract depending on your courage
20 yrs from now, I wish Jade…
1) will take his self-awareness seriously and take the time and effort to know who he is, his talents, the best career for him, where his happiness lies
2) will be happy, wealthy and successful on his own first before entering a relationship
3) willl remember life is short
To impress a girl that you like …
1) be yourself and nothing else… because it will be harder to sustain a lie in the long run
2) be happy with your own life first… the day you can say ‘ I Love my Job’ is the day you are ready for a healthy relationship
3) is to ask if she is happy with her life, if not, stay away
The most important lesson I learned in life is …
1) I am responsible for the my life and the reality I am in… both the good and the bad… and I have the power to change it
2) I need to be happy, complete and successful on my own first before entering a relationship
3) I have the right to say No
Falling in love is …
1) the best sensation in the world, completely unexpected, definitely powerful, although extremely overwhelming
2) a phenomenon that brings out all your insecurities and demons, hopefully you’ve healed them before that time
3) a feeling that is seasonal, the one you love has the right to leave you
The things you need to consider in choosing a career are …
1) Natural talents – do you have the inborn skills to do it and be great at it? Yes, things can be learned. But genius and excellence cannot.
2) Natural joy – do you really like doing it? If not, you are wasting years of your life
3) Evolution – will it make you a better person? Better world?
on the day of my death, these are the same things i will utter for the current generation as well as the generations after that.
and she had a great concept for a gift.
her closest friends (and me being a godfather) would fill up a Life Questionnaire for baby Jade to read when he grows up.
here are my answers:
The three most important things you should remember in life are:
1) you are responsible for and literally capable of creating and shaping your reality beginning with the power of your thought
2) do what you love and money will follow
3) your life will either expand or contract depending on your courage
20 yrs from now, I wish Jade…
1) will take his self-awareness seriously and take the time and effort to know who he is, his talents, the best career for him, where his happiness lies
2) will be happy, wealthy and successful on his own first before entering a relationship
3) willl remember life is short
To impress a girl that you like …
1) be yourself and nothing else… because it will be harder to sustain a lie in the long run
2) be happy with your own life first… the day you can say ‘ I Love my Job’ is the day you are ready for a healthy relationship
3) is to ask if she is happy with her life, if not, stay away
The most important lesson I learned in life is …
1) I am responsible for the my life and the reality I am in… both the good and the bad… and I have the power to change it
2) I need to be happy, complete and successful on my own first before entering a relationship
3) I have the right to say No
Falling in love is …
1) the best sensation in the world, completely unexpected, definitely powerful, although extremely overwhelming
2) a phenomenon that brings out all your insecurities and demons, hopefully you’ve healed them before that time
3) a feeling that is seasonal, the one you love has the right to leave you
The things you need to consider in choosing a career are …
1) Natural talents – do you have the inborn skills to do it and be great at it? Yes, things can be learned. But genius and excellence cannot.
2) Natural joy – do you really like doing it? If not, you are wasting years of your life
3) Evolution – will it make you a better person? Better world?
on the day of my death, these are the same things i will utter for the current generation as well as the generations after that.
2 songs
i am obsessed with two songs right now:
1) Requiem for a Dream
2) The Chairman's Waltz
i've been replaying both on YouTube.
Requiem for a Dream song, via the trailer of the film, The Fountain as well as the trailer of the film of the same name. Both films are by a brilliant director i've almost forgotten about... Darren Aronofsky.
it makes me want to return from my exile from film.
if i am to direct a film in the future, it will be as emotionally visual as his work.
The Chairman's Waltz, via an episode of the dance competition / TV show So You Think You Can Dance. The one featuring 'Jamie and Hok, Jazz. (when typed on the search field).
i remember how great i was choreographing interpretative group speeches and dances.
so, with two songs, i touch two of my passions that are so different from each other: film and artistic performance.
both come from the same core:
i am Creative.
1) Requiem for a Dream
2) The Chairman's Waltz
i've been replaying both on YouTube.
Requiem for a Dream song, via the trailer of the film, The Fountain as well as the trailer of the film of the same name. Both films are by a brilliant director i've almost forgotten about... Darren Aronofsky.
it makes me want to return from my exile from film.
if i am to direct a film in the future, it will be as emotionally visual as his work.
The Chairman's Waltz, via an episode of the dance competition / TV show So You Think You Can Dance. The one featuring 'Jamie and Hok, Jazz. (when typed on the search field).
i remember how great i was choreographing interpretative group speeches and dances.
so, with two songs, i touch two of my passions that are so different from each other: film and artistic performance.
both come from the same core:
i am Creative.
The Fountain
just watched the end of the film, The Fountain.
i cannot say that i understand the film completely now.
but i found it extremely emotional.
it's like, i can only understand it emotionally.
and not meant to be understood intellectually.
just like what i think the film teaches:
you cannot understand life.
nor control it.
nor consume it.
nor prolong it.
you can only live Life.
and you live it by valuing every moment.
and the precious memory each moment gives us.
all we have is the Present Moment.
right now.
right here.
it is the flower in front of you.
the smell of the grass.
the sound of leaves slightly moved by the wind.
the face of your infatuation in front of you.
and the unexpected hug from an ex.
right there and then, that is Life.
so stop and feel it completely.
because in an instant, the second and minute hands move.
and the moment is gone.
hopefully it was pleasant.
i cannot say that i understand the film completely now.
but i found it extremely emotional.
it's like, i can only understand it emotionally.
and not meant to be understood intellectually.
just like what i think the film teaches:
you cannot understand life.
nor control it.
nor consume it.
nor prolong it.
you can only live Life.
and you live it by valuing every moment.
and the precious memory each moment gives us.
all we have is the Present Moment.
right now.
right here.
it is the flower in front of you.
the smell of the grass.
the sound of leaves slightly moved by the wind.
the face of your infatuation in front of you.
and the unexpected hug from an ex.
right there and then, that is Life.
so stop and feel it completely.
because in an instant, the second and minute hands move.
and the moment is gone.
hopefully it was pleasant.
kindest gesture
i had a fight with my best friend yesterday.
i was convinced that he was dumb.
and i mean that in a mental capacity kind of way.
then, as i was watching TV, i remembered that i would not have a TV in the first place if he did not give me one.
four years ago...
during my first job at an American company, i was severely mistreated.
like i was a third class citizen.
my job description was that of a Marketing Assistant.
but, in reality, i was doing the chores of an underpaid low-class errand boy.
maybe to make her conscience clearer, my boss gave me a used TV one day.
mind you, i started in the US with no television.
i was that poor.
yes, now i realize that a victim is only a victim by choice.
he becomes one when permission is given to his victimizer to treat him unjustly.
we consciously or unconsciously teach people how to treat us.
but during that time, i have not learned that lesson yet.
when i finally took control of my life and my power and my Voice, i resigned.
on the same day i confirmed i was accepted at another job.
that stupid woman boss somehow felt taken advantage of.
i heard she was furious upon learning of my resignation.
what a fucking warped sense of reality, really.
to think she is under the impression that she was the one abused here.
she was at her posh country home when i resigned.
she heard about it from my immediate supervisor, a fat man with no spine who kissed her ass.
over the phone, she instructed my supervisor to tell me to return the TV.
so, right there and then, full of anger, i left the office and went home.
got the TV she gave me from the alleged kindness of her heart.
paid for an expensive cab ride back to the office.
handed it to my immediate supervisor.
said goodbye to my co-workers.
and left.
for 3 days after that, i did not have TV again.
then out of the blue, my best friend calls me.
he made a surprise drive to my area.
announcing that i should go downstairs to help him with something.
as i approached his car, from the trunk, i see him take out a brand new TV.
back to the present, out of the blue, i called him to thank him for his kind gesture 4 years ago.
i am sure he felt warmed by that.
i was convinced that he was dumb.
and i mean that in a mental capacity kind of way.
then, as i was watching TV, i remembered that i would not have a TV in the first place if he did not give me one.
four years ago...
during my first job at an American company, i was severely mistreated.
like i was a third class citizen.
my job description was that of a Marketing Assistant.
but, in reality, i was doing the chores of an underpaid low-class errand boy.
maybe to make her conscience clearer, my boss gave me a used TV one day.
mind you, i started in the US with no television.
i was that poor.
yes, now i realize that a victim is only a victim by choice.
he becomes one when permission is given to his victimizer to treat him unjustly.
we consciously or unconsciously teach people how to treat us.
but during that time, i have not learned that lesson yet.
when i finally took control of my life and my power and my Voice, i resigned.
on the same day i confirmed i was accepted at another job.
that stupid woman boss somehow felt taken advantage of.
i heard she was furious upon learning of my resignation.
what a fucking warped sense of reality, really.
to think she is under the impression that she was the one abused here.
she was at her posh country home when i resigned.
she heard about it from my immediate supervisor, a fat man with no spine who kissed her ass.
over the phone, she instructed my supervisor to tell me to return the TV.
so, right there and then, full of anger, i left the office and went home.
got the TV she gave me from the alleged kindness of her heart.
paid for an expensive cab ride back to the office.
handed it to my immediate supervisor.
said goodbye to my co-workers.
and left.
for 3 days after that, i did not have TV again.
then out of the blue, my best friend calls me.
he made a surprise drive to my area.
announcing that i should go downstairs to help him with something.
as i approached his car, from the trunk, i see him take out a brand new TV.
back to the present, out of the blue, i called him to thank him for his kind gesture 4 years ago.
i am sure he felt warmed by that.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
here we go again
i am so affected after reading a few more chapters of Veronika Decides to Die.
when it started talking about Impossible Love.
and how we fantasize of lost loves and, like a movie, review and rewind memories of a love that used to be sweet.
although i have gotten better about it,
what the book said still hurt.
then i encounter a quote in my Yahoo Inbox saying the following:
It is impossible to win the race unless you venture to run, impossible to win the victory unless you dare to battle.
~Richard M. DeVos~
which was so timely since i was hesitating from taking an opportunity to get a higher position and better paying job.
i feel my life is moving forward again.
and that scares me.
when it started talking about Impossible Love.
and how we fantasize of lost loves and, like a movie, review and rewind memories of a love that used to be sweet.
although i have gotten better about it,
what the book said still hurt.
then i encounter a quote in my Yahoo Inbox saying the following:
It is impossible to win the race unless you venture to run, impossible to win the victory unless you dare to battle.
~Richard M. DeVos~
which was so timely since i was hesitating from taking an opportunity to get a higher position and better paying job.
i feel my life is moving forward again.
and that scares me.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Veronika Decides to Die
so my friend Crissy is staying with me.
and before she left for a quick trip to Washington DC, we had one of those talks.
in summary, she talked to me like no one has talked to me before.
we were not really close in the past.
but she pointed some things about me that only a true friend could:
1) that i needed to go out more and stop being so serious about everything
2) that my world (and my life) is a bit small
3) why my existence was so lonely, despite my defense that it was self-imposed and motivated by business focus
4) that i was always stressed
5) and she was afraid that i'll end up being lonely
of course, i listened to it defensively.
because i know i understood myself better (being self-aware and all).
but two days from that discussion, i found myself bothered by everything she said.
because her suggestions made sense.
because she was correct.
then the day she left for Washington, i found her book in the bathroom.
Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho.
i read it the night before she left and told her that the first chapter hurt.
and only things that contain wisdom and truth can hurt me this much.
it was thoughtful of her to leave it for me for the time being.
i read it on my way to work.
and early into the book, the lead character talked about conforming to the normal life expected of us: that begins with an alarm clock, going to work, eating your lunch sandwich, going back to work, hanging out with friends after work, going to bed, to wake up to the sound of the alarm clock, and repeat cycle.
i've been struggling with a career dilemma recently.
whether to start looking for jobs that are higher in pay.
i am happy with my current job right now.
completely peaceful, non-stressful, they leave me alone, the pay is more than reasonable and i still get home with enough energy to dream.
i do not know how i feel about this career move yet.
but i intend to be more careful... not to get into the vicious cycle of a life ruled by the alarm clock.
hopefully, there will come a point when i do wake to do the sound of my alarm clock, i will be happy for another day ahead of me.
and before she left for a quick trip to Washington DC, we had one of those talks.
in summary, she talked to me like no one has talked to me before.
we were not really close in the past.
but she pointed some things about me that only a true friend could:
1) that i needed to go out more and stop being so serious about everything
2) that my world (and my life) is a bit small
3) why my existence was so lonely, despite my defense that it was self-imposed and motivated by business focus
4) that i was always stressed
5) and she was afraid that i'll end up being lonely
of course, i listened to it defensively.
because i know i understood myself better (being self-aware and all).
but two days from that discussion, i found myself bothered by everything she said.
because her suggestions made sense.
because she was correct.
then the day she left for Washington, i found her book in the bathroom.
Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho.
i read it the night before she left and told her that the first chapter hurt.
and only things that contain wisdom and truth can hurt me this much.
it was thoughtful of her to leave it for me for the time being.
i read it on my way to work.
and early into the book, the lead character talked about conforming to the normal life expected of us: that begins with an alarm clock, going to work, eating your lunch sandwich, going back to work, hanging out with friends after work, going to bed, to wake up to the sound of the alarm clock, and repeat cycle.
i've been struggling with a career dilemma recently.
whether to start looking for jobs that are higher in pay.
i am happy with my current job right now.
completely peaceful, non-stressful, they leave me alone, the pay is more than reasonable and i still get home with enough energy to dream.
i do not know how i feel about this career move yet.
but i intend to be more careful... not to get into the vicious cycle of a life ruled by the alarm clock.
hopefully, there will come a point when i do wake to do the sound of my alarm clock, i will be happy for another day ahead of me.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
motive
this quote sums up my motive behind why i do the things i do:
I am certain that after the dust of centuries has passed over our cities, we, too, will be remembered not for victories or defeats in battle or in politics, but for our contribution to the human spirit.
~John F. Kennedy~
I am certain that after the dust of centuries has passed over our cities, we, too, will be remembered not for victories or defeats in battle or in politics, but for our contribution to the human spirit.
~John F. Kennedy~
Saturday, June 16, 2007
who are you not to be?
Favorite quote.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?"
Marianne Williamson
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?"
Marianne Williamson
Friday, June 15, 2007
dance seductively
i was at my friend Issah's wedding last Sunday.
it was so much fun.
actually, it was the most fun i had in years.
i surprised myself:
apparently i can be completely carefree and capable of joy.
and not give a shit about what other people think.
and be completely irreverent for the sake of a good time.
i was so convinced that i was an extreme introvert.
but as soon as the dancing started, i was one of the first on the dance floor.
and danced seductively in front of a gasping crowd made up of the older generation filled with an equally old set of inhibitions.
i knew i had charisma and magnetism.
but i did not expect to have that much.
enough to thaw even the most shy and introverted from the crowd.
enough to prompt them to start having a good time.
something happened that day.
i now find myself more carefree.
days after that Sunday.
may i never lose this personal freedom.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Made in China
i am still bothered by a PBS documentary i saw 2 hours ago.
i believe the title was Brutal Work.
a documentary chronicling the life of a Chinese girl working at a jeans sewing factory.
it begins with a glimpse of her life in a rural province, then...
leaves home, journeys to the city, applies for a job at a sewing factory, gets accepted, learns the ropes, struggles, fights for the wages due her, then ends with her conscious decision to continue working there.
it was difficult for me to see because i own my own company.
i too create products to sell here in the States.
produced in Asia... but in the Philippines, not in China.
which made me question this whole culture of consumerism and consumption.
people here in the States spend so much money on fashion.
fashion that will inevitably become disposable.
since we tire of fashion so quickly.
i just feel bad that we can easily tire of a garment that someone sacrificed so much to create.
not just that.
so much money spent for that same garment.
and so so little paid to the person who made it.
last Christmas, i told the printing factory who printed our gift wrap paper to hold a party for everyone, thanking them for all their effort and help with the year's production. i wired money to my Mom and she threw a party filled with food and gifts for everyone. i checked with my parents also whether the workers were treated fairly. according to her, they were.
i do not know how this behemoth of Chinese manufacturing can be stopped.
i am not even sure if it can be stopped or whether it should be stopped.
it would be hypocritical for us to call for its halt considering we benefit from it so much.
i just hope someone out there can devise of a model that will make it a Win-Win situation for all 3 parties: the company outsourcing the production, the factory manufacturing and finally the employee doing the actual labor.
as much as i want to, my spiritual mission and talent are not in the field of global politics, management and economics. nor is my life one that is marked naturally and inherently by an activist nature.
someone out there must surely know how to solve it.
may he or she wake up to this mission sooner than later.
i believe the title was Brutal Work.
a documentary chronicling the life of a Chinese girl working at a jeans sewing factory.
it begins with a glimpse of her life in a rural province, then...
leaves home, journeys to the city, applies for a job at a sewing factory, gets accepted, learns the ropes, struggles, fights for the wages due her, then ends with her conscious decision to continue working there.
it was difficult for me to see because i own my own company.
i too create products to sell here in the States.
produced in Asia... but in the Philippines, not in China.
which made me question this whole culture of consumerism and consumption.
people here in the States spend so much money on fashion.
fashion that will inevitably become disposable.
since we tire of fashion so quickly.
i just feel bad that we can easily tire of a garment that someone sacrificed so much to create.
not just that.
so much money spent for that same garment.
and so so little paid to the person who made it.
last Christmas, i told the printing factory who printed our gift wrap paper to hold a party for everyone, thanking them for all their effort and help with the year's production. i wired money to my Mom and she threw a party filled with food and gifts for everyone. i checked with my parents also whether the workers were treated fairly. according to her, they were.
i do not know how this behemoth of Chinese manufacturing can be stopped.
i am not even sure if it can be stopped or whether it should be stopped.
it would be hypocritical for us to call for its halt considering we benefit from it so much.
i just hope someone out there can devise of a model that will make it a Win-Win situation for all 3 parties: the company outsourcing the production, the factory manufacturing and finally the employee doing the actual labor.
as much as i want to, my spiritual mission and talent are not in the field of global politics, management and economics. nor is my life one that is marked naturally and inherently by an activist nature.
someone out there must surely know how to solve it.
may he or she wake up to this mission sooner than later.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
last question
this Sunday morning, i woke up early thinking it was Monday.
that i was late for work.
thankfully i realized my mistake.
my first instinct was to open the television.
despite my need for more silence in life.
i chanced upon the movie, Serendipity.
prompting me to quickly change the channel.
romantic films annoy me.
maybe because they reveal my loneliness.
or, maybe because they unearth the pain from a breakup two years ago.
or, really, perhaps because they simply are corny and inaccurate representations of falling in love.
so, several channels later,
as i was surfing mindlessly through several buttons,
i encountered Serendipity once more.
this time, it was ending.
so i thought about seeing the last parts of the film, for the humor of it.
the male sidekick was consoling the lead character about his choice of calling off the wedding.
the sidekick said:
the Greeks do not have obituaries.
but when a person dies, they only have One Question.
did that person have Passion?
after that,
the sidekick gave the lead a letter.
then their paths separated.
over a voice-over,
the contents of the letter were revealed to the audience.
it was composed as an obituary:
here lies a man who died pursuing his soul mate.
but, he utterly failed.
and died of a broken heart.
but in the last moments before his death, his friends described him as having a certain clarity.
you must watch the movie.
this voice-over in the last part was so good.
and definitely better than what i am trying to paraphrase.
and so,
if the Greeks were to ask me this question before i die.
if i did have Passion?
i would say, Yes.
how about you?
that i was late for work.
thankfully i realized my mistake.
my first instinct was to open the television.
despite my need for more silence in life.
i chanced upon the movie, Serendipity.
prompting me to quickly change the channel.
romantic films annoy me.
maybe because they reveal my loneliness.
or, maybe because they unearth the pain from a breakup two years ago.
or, really, perhaps because they simply are corny and inaccurate representations of falling in love.
so, several channels later,
as i was surfing mindlessly through several buttons,
i encountered Serendipity once more.
this time, it was ending.
so i thought about seeing the last parts of the film, for the humor of it.
the male sidekick was consoling the lead character about his choice of calling off the wedding.
the sidekick said:
the Greeks do not have obituaries.
but when a person dies, they only have One Question.
did that person have Passion?
after that,
the sidekick gave the lead a letter.
then their paths separated.
over a voice-over,
the contents of the letter were revealed to the audience.
it was composed as an obituary:
here lies a man who died pursuing his soul mate.
but, he utterly failed.
and died of a broken heart.
but in the last moments before his death, his friends described him as having a certain clarity.
you must watch the movie.
this voice-over in the last part was so good.
and definitely better than what i am trying to paraphrase.
and so,
if the Greeks were to ask me this question before i die.
if i did have Passion?
i would say, Yes.
how about you?
Saturday, May 19, 2007
DUMBO
today was a rainy Spring Saturday.
extremely unfortunate since, after a long work week, i needed this weekend to be exceptionally special.
i invited my business partner / best friend to tour an emerging area of Brooklyn with me.
we drove to DUMBO.
it is the neighborhood Down Under the Manhattan Brooklyn Overpass.
meaning, under the bridge connecting the cities of Manhattan and Brooklyn.
imagine several abandoned warehouses and factories converted into lofts and hip boutiques. with cobblestone streets. redbrick decayed buildings. overlooking the river.
on this rainy day, the area was fairly abandoned.
maybe it was the rain.
or maybe, regardless of the rain, it was still not as busy as i expected it to be.
hence, the beauty.
so much silence.
and so much emerging beauty.
amidst all the decaying architecture.
that is why i like fashion and design so much.
because of their Promise of Renewal and their Reminders of Beauty.
amidst all the ugliness of the world, a person confronted with a beautiful piece of clothing or design will see God.
later that day, i saw a white zip-up jacket from a store i've never visited but always passed by. called American Apparel.
i walked in with my friend.
and there i saw a low-priced unique white jacket made from Tyvek paper, the same durable and tear-proof material used for postal envelopes.
for just 28 dollars, i experienced God.
for Joy is a slice of God.
and i never would have seen this jacket if i chose to see the same things in my life all over again. and if did not decide to venture into neighborhoods that were new to me.
extremely unfortunate since, after a long work week, i needed this weekend to be exceptionally special.
i invited my business partner / best friend to tour an emerging area of Brooklyn with me.
we drove to DUMBO.
it is the neighborhood Down Under the Manhattan Brooklyn Overpass.
meaning, under the bridge connecting the cities of Manhattan and Brooklyn.
imagine several abandoned warehouses and factories converted into lofts and hip boutiques. with cobblestone streets. redbrick decayed buildings. overlooking the river.
on this rainy day, the area was fairly abandoned.
maybe it was the rain.
or maybe, regardless of the rain, it was still not as busy as i expected it to be.
hence, the beauty.
so much silence.
and so much emerging beauty.
amidst all the decaying architecture.
that is why i like fashion and design so much.
because of their Promise of Renewal and their Reminders of Beauty.
amidst all the ugliness of the world, a person confronted with a beautiful piece of clothing or design will see God.
later that day, i saw a white zip-up jacket from a store i've never visited but always passed by. called American Apparel.
i walked in with my friend.
and there i saw a low-priced unique white jacket made from Tyvek paper, the same durable and tear-proof material used for postal envelopes.
for just 28 dollars, i experienced God.
for Joy is a slice of God.
and i never would have seen this jacket if i chose to see the same things in my life all over again. and if did not decide to venture into neighborhoods that were new to me.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
thom browne
i took my lunch break from my day job at a top magazine...
and walked along my usual route - Rockefeller Center.
on my way to Barnes & Noble,
i saw Thom Browne.
he is, as of the moment of this writing, the most influential menswear designer in NY.
he was wearing his signature aesthetic - a formal men's suit cut unconventionally and unsafely short.
imagine pants cut shorter - with one's socks and shoes definitely showing.
i wanted to ask for his autograph.
but, unfortunately, this was the only day that i did not bring my red pen and journal.
so here he was,
my omen - walking in real life.
an Omen of my dream walking away from me.
and so i followed.
abandoning the possibility of gaining an autograph,
i followed him as far as i could.
and basked in the moment and the experience.
before letting him go,
i told myself that i was on the right path.
in my belief that my next step in life is menswear.
and walked along my usual route - Rockefeller Center.
on my way to Barnes & Noble,
i saw Thom Browne.
he is, as of the moment of this writing, the most influential menswear designer in NY.
he was wearing his signature aesthetic - a formal men's suit cut unconventionally and unsafely short.
imagine pants cut shorter - with one's socks and shoes definitely showing.
i wanted to ask for his autograph.
but, unfortunately, this was the only day that i did not bring my red pen and journal.
so here he was,
my omen - walking in real life.
an Omen of my dream walking away from me.
and so i followed.
abandoning the possibility of gaining an autograph,
i followed him as far as i could.
and basked in the moment and the experience.
before letting him go,
i told myself that i was on the right path.
in my belief that my next step in life is menswear.
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