American Beauty

my omens usually appear on a weekend.
maybe because my mind is more relaxed hence more open to free-wheeling thought and day dreams.

so on a lazy Sunday afternoon, i chanced upon the film, American Beauty.
i remember seeing it 5 years ago.
loved it then.
still love it now.

this time, what captured me wasn't the scene about the plastic bag dancing with the wind...
rather a song that played in the background of one of the scenes:
Don't Let it Bring you Down (as sung by Annie Lennox).

i am bad with lyrics.
i am not one of those people who listen intently on the words.
my natural approach is to feel the song in its entirety with maybe my Unconscious Mind grasping what the song is saying.

for such a sad song, i found it so optimistic and uplifting.
it was as if i've been sad for a long time but did not really know it.
then, suddenly hearing the song made everything better.
as if everything was forgiven.
with a scene in my head of a person wiping the dust off and picking himself up from the ground.

i am so obsessed with the song, enough for me to scour You Tube for any rendition.
found one sung by amateurs but not the one sung by Annie Lennox.

if i were to make a film, it will have the same feel and technique of American Beauty.
it was directed with heart and not with slick camera movements.
and this sums up who i am as a filmmaker and an artist.

today was such a good Sunday because not only was i reminded to honor my Unique Voice as a filmmaker, i also happened to read a magazine compiled by several artists in honor of a comrade/photographer allegedly killed by a drunk driver.

i believe it was the March or April 2007 issue of I-D magazine, a special called Safe + Sound.
in it were inspirational stories submitted by fashion designers, artists and other creative types.

one of them was simply a page posting the whole text of the Desiderata.
which i will post in a separate blog entry.

the Desiderata had the same effect on me as the song from American Beauty.
to not let things bring me down.
to be brave.

unfortunately it takes a death for us to celebrate our Voice.